Help me Lord.  I can’t do this without you.  I can’t focus, I can’t create, I feel like a big ole jumbled mess of crazy with a prozac cherry on top.  Lord it says that you are strong in my weaknesses… well I have a lot of those.  You must really be able to show how strong you are through me cause I am a big ole mess most of the time.  I really want to get this art director thing down.  I want to serve you in this way, but I am having a really hard time.  Please help me Lord.  My mind is always going in this direction or that.  Make those things that are crooked in my mind, straight.  You are able.  It says so in your word.

I feel like the most needy child ever.  You must get tired of hearing my voice.  Everything I come to you with, you help me every step of the way.  You might let go of my hands and make me walk on my own at times, but I know you are there.  I can feel you there always.

Thank you Father.  You’re a good good Father.  That’s who you are ❤

Is praying by blogging a good thing?  I can get it all out here…. writing is too slow….

Either way, if my ways are wrong, show me Lord.  I know you will, cause you have so many times before.  I love you Lord.  I wouldn’t know what to do without you ….

You are my bright and morning star.  My hope when I am feeling hopeless.  My sunshine among my depression.  A light in my darkness.  My warmth in my bones when my heart turns cold.  You are my right way of thinking when everything seems to be so wrong.  You are my steadied tongue when nervousness takes over.  You are my serenity, when chaos breaks out.  You are my peace when anger rises in the worst possible ways.  You are my discipline when I am stepping out of line.  You are my education when I feel at my dumbest.  You give me knowledge I never knew I could have.  I marvel at the works that you have done in others and it gives me hope that one day, You could do that in me.  I see wisdom that is beyond the years of the person that is using it….. I see revelations and teachings that only you can inspire.

Lord you are amazing.  Thank you for calling me as your child ❤


So here is where I am going to log my process and thoughts about my son.  I have to do something to be able to get rid of all of the frustration that I have with him so maybe logging in what is going on would be the best way to handle a lot of what is happening on my end.   They say that my son has ADHD.  One thing that I will never forget that my Uncle told me when the first time that he got examined was, “He paid really close attention to all of my directions while I was checking him.  Most of the children that I get in here for this are all over the place but he is not.”  I agree.  He is not usually all over the place in the sense that he cannot stop the fiddling in extreme measures.  He fiddles around and he moves around a lot but not excessive.  I think that if anything he has a very mild case of ADHD but I also think that this Oppositional Disorder is something else that may be a possibility.  When thinking about what an Oppositional Disorder means is that the child just won’t listen.  So, one can be medicated for being subborn and hard headed?  I can tell that my son needs something to teach him how to control his impulses right now but I really do struggle with the idea that he is being put on medication so that I am able to cope with him and everyone else is able to cope with him.  Maybe I should just take him out and home school him.  He might just benifit more in the education department but what about the social aspect of that?  I will still keep him in sports and we will continue to go to church regularly but there is still more social interaction in the schools than those two things combined.  Then if I would home school him, would I also take Ana out of school and teach her at home as well.  I am sure that she would be quite upset if brother got to stay home with Mommy and she didn’t. 

With everything that I go through with Leonce, Anastasia is such a good natured child.  She doesn’t really do anything that she isn’t suppose to do  and because of this, I feel like Anastasia is missing out on a lot of time with me and attention with me.  I want her to get everything that she needs from me as well.  She just kind of stands in the back ground a lot of the time … even though I am sure that she doesn’t want the same kind of attention that her brother is getting considering that he does get punished a lot, I know that she still wants my attention all the same.  You know what they say, Negitive attention is better than no attention at all.  I don’t want her to get to the point that she is going to want to start acting out because I am not paying enough attention to her.

Today is a day of deep thought about everything in my life.  Maybe I am just over thinking the whole situantion and I am just a worried mother…. Or maybe I am right and I need to be a little bit more careful about things.

Every year for Dad’s birthday I like to spend a little time with him and make the summer a little bit more special for the kids.  We went for a few days and really enjoyed our selves.  Trips to Aunt Eileen’s house were always awesome for me as a child and it seems to be carried on to the next generation.  Dad enjoyed his birthday a whole lot and enjoyed the gifts me and the kids gave him.  We wished Potsie could be there with us to enjoy the fun times, but he is doing his duty as provider for our family… <3<3 we love him <3<3

I will leave this blog entry with one phrase and a few pictures…  Not everything planned happened, but everything that happened was quite an experience.

I do have to pat myself on the back when I say that this year’s birthday party was awesome.  For once, it was a good “all age friendly” birthday party.  This year we had music playing while the kids created their goodie bags at the craft table.  We had a full buffet of party foods, as usual and later on, we had a slip N slide that even the adults got on.  This is the first year that Anastasia didn’t cry when we sang happy birthday to her.  Leonce was his normal, eating it all up, self.  He is just a party animal and was loving it.

I got everything ready the night before so that I wouldn’t have to worry about anything in the morning since this year I decided to do the party 2 hours early … maybe then, everything would end earlier.  A lot of the time we had people at the house till like 11 PM but this year everyone was gone for 7 PM.

2011 Birthday Party (26)

cakes made my a lady at our church named Lucy Carter.  She is a jewel and these were the kid’s birthday present!  Thanks girl!!!

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Can you spot the mother in the ocean of little people?!  At one point I was actually charged upon due to Disney Fairys … I actually feared for my life!

2011 Birthday Party (4)

All the adults cutting loose while the present opening in commencing.

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Craft Table and sitting area outside

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2011 Birthday Party (39)







2011 Birthday Party (9)

The Grown-up kids ….

2011 Birthday Party (10)

Injuries after a beer can smashing contest

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We are in Baton Rouge right now enjoying season passes to Blue Bayou and Dixie Landing.  It is amazing how much one year can do for a kid.  Last year Ana was not too excited about riding anything and I kind of had to force her into riding every ride.  Most of them, she enjoyed riding but I had to twist her arm in order to get her onto the ride.  Now, this year, she is very enthusiastic about riding all of the kiddy rides and pretty much anything that makes her dizzy.  We stayed at Dixie Landing for 3 hours today and they really didn’t want to leave.  We will see what tomorrow holds for Blue Bayou the water park side 🙂

I cannot believe it.  Kinda feels like not long ago I was holding her in my arms or watching her fall asleep in her crib or even should I say, puking up any and everything I ate for 9 months.  When I look out one window behind me, that is what I see and then I look in one window ahead of me and I see her now… ever faster growing.  From the child that at the beginning of school refused to even talk during the evaluation test to now, she smiles and hugs everyone in her class and everyone in her family.  Ana has grown so much in the last school year.  She is learning so quickly and she loves anything and everything art.  She came home with new pictures every single day.  At home I watch her play school with her barbies and now school is over and she asks me everyday, “Mommy, when is it school time  yet?”

She makes all kinds of friends and there isn’t a child in her class that doesn’t like her.  Every one of the parents I talked to has heard her name once if not multiple times.  She is quite the social butterfly and my little bud is blooming so beautifully.

Now the last picture in the slide show is a picture of the picnic lunch we had as a reward for doing such a great job on stage… I took her and her friend in the green cardigan out to play at a local park… Oh and what the sour face was all about in the pictures with brother… well lets just say, she wasn’t taking pictures with him today….

What a great season we had this year.  Unfortunately, it was short lived.  Next year I definitely plan on sighing up to be a coach or an assistant coach since I assumed the duties this year.  Leonce did so well this year.  He was catching balls coming at him from way high up, catching and quickly throwing grounders, and batting the whole season without the use of the tee one time.  I think we found that nitch for him to excel in.  He loves playing on a team, and he loves his coach and to be honest… I don’t think that I could ever find a better coach than Sean.  I was really sad to see baseball come to a close this year even though we have not had closing ceremony yet (I am sure due to all the flood waters and people taking vacations right now).  I will post pictures of his trophy and team pics when I get them in. 

I hope everyone enjoys the pictures as much as I do…  You will  notice that in some of the pictures I have Ana waiting in the dugout and I also have two pictures with just his team members…. he had number 22 this year.

I haven’t posted in so long.  It is really time for me to get back on top on things.  I will hopefully be posting at least once a week..

I don’t have a job anymore because Potsie really wants me to be a stay at home mom and wife for him and the kids … I guess that I understand where he is coming from.   He is gone for half the year and when he is home he would like for us to be able to go on vacations and just be together without me having to”request” to do so from some random person providing me with a megar wage for back breaking work.

Now I do backbreaking work for no wage … LOL

Ana just graduated Pre-K and my little baby girl is so smart.  She got satisfactory in everything with the exception of rhyming words but we will work on that over the summer.  I am going to be posting pictures of that later on tonight when the kids are laying down relaxing.  She is a fantastic artist and has a wonderful imagination.  I really love to hear her sing too … My little Ana Banana is going to  be a very talented individual I just know it …

Leonce passed on to the second grade but we all knew that would happen… Mr. Smarty pants.  He got the Principals award for having the principals list all year and he got several other awards for various things accomplished through out the school year.  I am very proud of him.  Through everything, he is so strong and so smart… sometimes, to big for his little britches.


He wrote on his dresser “I’m good.”. I could just cry right now. He is good and i tell him that all the time. I tell him that just because sometimes we make bad choices doesn’t mean we are bad people. It just means we need a little more practice at living. Even grownups don’t make good choices sometimes and that means me and daddy. I love him so much and I just want him to grow up in love and have confidence. He is good. He is great! He is sweet and compassionate …. And he is only 6.


April 2018
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